We at The Midwest Institute for Forgiveness Training want to offer you our specific step-by-step ways to accomplish the relief of forgiveness. We believe that ours is the best approach to forgiveness available today. Anyone can learn this and use it, and it reliably produces a potent healing effect that is lasting. It will improve your life—no doubt about it!
We love this work because…
It is holistic. Based in the holistic psychology of Dr. Roberto Assagioli of Italy, you will work your issue out of your system by addressing it on all the levels of your personality, (will, body, emotions, mind, subtle energy system,) and with the assistance of the light and energy of your soul.
It is universal. Our model incorporates universal spiritual principles that are common in all faith paths, so, for example, it can be used by Christians and Muslims alike. It can also be used by people who practice spirituality in an individual, non-traditional way. It has been taught successfully in churches, hospitals, treatment centers, conferences, and in businesses going through painful restructuring. It is wonderfully adaptable!
It is fast. You do not have to wait for time to heal all, once you know the steps that healing requires, and you apply yourself to it. The average amount of time that a specific “chunk” of forgiveness work requires is 45 min – 1hr.
It is physical. The most common statement we hear after someone forgives, is “I feel lighter.” Our process facilitates the release of an emotional burden which is a blockage inside your body, and the most telling evidence is the physical change you feel afterwards. (relaxed muscles, easier breathing, a palpable feeling of new space inside. – as well as a definite shift in your attitude.)
The results are permanent, and life gets better now. Once you have forgiven something, the issue does not return to bother you any more. You will find that your daily life experience has moved to a new level of ease, and that you are able to be more loving and creative in relationships or life situations that formerly had you “locked up.”
You can do this! Our method is something you can learn in a weekend and use for a lifetime. If it’s time for you to learn forgiveness, figure out the best way for you to get started, and do it! We’re here to help if you need us.
Our Working Definitions
Unconditional love, forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness
Unconditional love is an attitude of seeing the good in any person or situation. It is also a refreshing universal spiritual energy, a Divine Force that restores you to wholeness and freely extends itself to all beings without limits, expectations, or demands. It wants everyone to thrive.
Forgiveness is an attitude of being willing to let go of unrealistic expectations of self and others, as well as the process by which this release is accomplished. It is the dissolution of an attachment that is blocking the flow of love and energy inside us. It is the experience of relief that comes when we release an expectation that has caused us to suffer.
Unconditional forgiveness is the profound and transformative experience of completely releasing any expectation that is causing us to suffer—forgiving everyone and everything, all the time. It is a lifestyle, and a pathway to enlightenment that restores us to a natural state of wholeness and happiness that is independent of what others have done or are presently doing.
Here is an overview of our step methods
for forgiving yourself and others – the bare bones, basically. We highly recommend that you read the book, Unconditional Forgiveness, which explains each of these steps and how to do them, in depth. We also suggest that if the issue you are working on is very emotional and seems overwhelming, that you attend a workshop or seek private forgiveness coaching so you can make it all the way through it successfully.
The Eight Steps to Freedom (Forgiving another person or a life situation)
Prepare for a change in your life.
- Step One: State your will to make a change.
- Step Two: Express your feelings exactly as they are inside you.
- Step Three: Release expectations from your mind, one by one.
- Step Four: Restore your boundaries.
- Step Five: Open up to the Universe to get your needs met in a different way.
- Step Six: Receive healing energy from Spirit into your personality.
- Step Seven: Send unconditional love to the other person and release him or her.
- Step Eight: See the good in the person or situation.
Integrate your change and start living in a new way.
The Five Steps of Self-Forgiveness
- Prepare yourself to feel better about yourself
- Talk out your problem in detail with your Higher Self
- Connect with the consciousness of your Higher Self: lift yourself to its level
- Grant yourself forgiveness, as love and light, from this higher level
- Give thanks from your personal self to the Higher Self, for forgiveness
(Note! Self forgiveness is the hardest challenge of all, for most people. Your task will be easier if you have a regular prayer or meditation practice, or if you do it when it seems like just the right time. Many people have found the audio book, The Peaceful Heart, to be especially helpful, as a guide through this exercise. (see products.) In our workshops, the atmosphere of love and compassion and spiritual energy of the group is also very helpful to people who need to make a deep and permanent change with a “self” issue.)
1. Prepare yourself: Sit on the floor or in a chair, and align your will to make a change. Decide to stop carrying this issue against yourself. Imagine your Higher Self above you, listening compassionately and waiting to grant you the relief of self-forgiveness. Use an image of an eternal field of Light & Love, or another image of the Higher Power (God) that works for you.
2. Talk out your problem in detail with your Higher Self like you would with a trusted friend or advisor. Ask It for help. Allow your full misery to surface and let your emotions out about it. Remember, there is nothing you can say or do that is unforgivable.
3. Connect with your Higher Self even more, and lift yourself to its level of consciousness. Lift above the emotional level by first seeing the good in yourself and saying a few examples of that out loud. Visualize your image of your Higher Self again and meditate on some of its qualities: Light, peace, wisdom, generosity, compassion, and so on. Symbolically leaving your personality down in the chair, stand and turn to face your personality from above as you continue to fully resonate with God’s great qualities. Allow your heart and mind to expand to the highest level and perspective: for a few moments, let yourself become pure Light.
4. Grant yourself forgiveness from this higher level. As the Higher Self, in a state of love and light, look down upon where you were sitting and picture your personal self there awaiting your help. View your personality and his or her situation from a universal and expansive perspective. Extend your hands in healing and blessing, imagining light flowing through you and from you down into your personal self, releasing it from all burdens. Speak words of advice, wisdom, and comfort out loud to your personal self from this higher perspective. (Or just enjoy the silence and peace of the Self.) When you feel complete, make a definitive statement like, “… and I forgive you completely,” or “I release you from your shame.” (Note: If, during this communication in step four, you are expressing any judgment or criticism of your personal self, you are still in your personal self. Go higher, literally. Stand on a chair or a desk and try again. Your mind understands this physical metaphor and will co-operate.)
5. As your personal self, give thanks for the forgiveness and take in your new perspective. Return to your sitting position and quietly allow this experience to settle and integrate. Note the relief and new understanding. Say: “Thank you for this forgiveness.”